I visited my brother at the weekend and saw the kids. They are growing up so fast, I keep wondering where the time goes. I’m gonna have to introduce you to them in private posts. I’m just not comfortable talking about the kids or posting pics of them on my blog, especially since I’m not their mother. If they were mine, I suppose it would be different but it’s not really my decision to make if that makes any sense at all.

My mum is turning sixty this month and you can imagine how delighted she is about that! My dad is going to be semi-retired by the end of the year so both my parents will now be classed as pensioners and they just don’t seem like it! My mum’s started her decorating lark again and bought a new suite for the lounge yesterday. I think Dad’s retirement money is going to be spent before he even gets it. I blame all these DIY shows on the TV because she is always moaning about wanting to change something and never happy when she does change it. My dad’s just learned to go with the flow… Poor guy!

It also seems incredible to me that in a few weeks, it will be a year since we lost Grandma. It really doesn’t feel like a year but in a way it does because I haven’t been able to talk to her in all that time. Okay, that makes no sense at all. I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I miss her like crazy and I think about her everyday. Whenever something happens, I just want to share it with her but have to remind myself I can’t do that anymore. It’s worse on Saturday because we used to spend the afternoons with her and I still feel at a loose end, wondering what to do with myself. Then, I think about all the Saturdays I didn’t go see her and I start to feel guilty because I feel that was precious time I’ve now lost.

My mum’s heading to a funeral tomorrow. One of Grandma’s cousins died suddenly and she was only six years older than my mum. That makes me feel afraid. One day, I’m going to be in the position my mum and her brothers were in last year and I don’t want things to change. I don’t want to lose my family.