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I took my niece through to Glasgow yesterday afternoon to see the Scottish Ballet’s performance of The Nutcracker at the Theatre Royal. I’ve loved ballet since I was a little girl and I was hoping my niece would love it as much as I do but I don’t think that’s going to happen.

She said she enjoyed it but she wasn’t exactly bubbling over with enthusiasm so it looks like I’m destined to be a solo act. I don’t know anyone who likes ballet so I haven’t been to a lot of performances but I’m thinking I’m just going to start going on my own. That way I don’t have to worry about boring anyone to death.

I gotta say I love the Scottish Ballet since seeing quite a few of their ballets when I was a student so I know they are worth seeing. The first time I saw them perform The Nutcracker, it was the classical saccharine one complete with snow and sugar plums, which gets a lot of criticism but I love all that sugary goodness. It’s perfect for Christmas!

The SB’s new version of the ballet was launched about five years ago and is based on the original German tale so is much darker. The ballet is set in Germany during the 1920s and the costumes of the Stahlbaum family reflect that. The first act of the play is more about acting and very little dancing, while the second act gives more dancing and some stunning costumes. My favourite was the orchid danced by Tomomi Sato, who is just perfect. She glides effortlessly over the stage and looks as light as a feather. She was the original Maria (Clara) when the ballet was first launched and appears as Maria again in some performances this season. She really stood out for me and I guess that’s why she is a principal dancer with the company.

I’m thinking about getting tickets for their Romeo and Juliet production in the Spring.

I’m getting more and more disgusted by the tabloids in this country and I’ve more or less given up on reading newspapers because it’s getting harder to trust anything you read.

Over the past few weeks, we’ve had endless coverage about Tiger Woods’ personal life and I’m starting to feel sorry for him. I’m not condoning his infidelity in anyway but surely he should be allowed to deal with the fallout in private. Do we really need to have every little detail out there in the press? Some would argue that since he’s a public figure, the world deserves to know every little detail, especially since he was supposed to be a positive role model. However, do we really need to strip away every shred of dignity the man has? He’s made a huge mistake and he’s on the verge of losing everything he holds dear. Enough is enough. Give the man and his family some peace.

While we are on the subject of the press, I read a recent article about George Michael where he stated the press are constantly sitting outside his house in London waiting for a juicy tidbit. I found that absolutely appalling! I’m not going to talk about all the reasons why they are waiting for him to screw up because what he does in his private life is his business even if I do find it hard to understand at times. The man is his own worst enemy and his recent revelations in The Guardian haven’t helped, however his interview with The Big Issue painted a totally different picture. Guess which one the unsavoury papers are focusing on?

I’m tired of reading articles that make him out to be a pervert or equate homosexuality with deviant behaviour which is just downright offensive. He’s just released a fantastic concert DVD with a great little documentary which shows him in a positive light even if it was recorded by his best friend. He’s about to release a beautiful Christmas single on Monday with an amazing little video, where are all the reports on that? Where are all the stories about the donations he makes every year to various charities? Or the stories about how he helps people out financially without so much as a second thought?

It’s very hard to be a GM fan these days because you have to listen to endless jokes about his private life and read crap in the press. I’m tired of it. I’ve loved the man and his music since I was 12 years old and I probably always will. Leave him alone, people.

I’ve been in a real funk all week. The reason? I’m reaching a certain milestone tomorrow agewise and while it isn’t bothering me, it seems to be on the minds of a whole lot of other people who seem to be bothered by the fact that I’m unconcerned. Why is society so obsessed with age? I’ve never been one to celebrate birthdays before and while I accept the cards and gifts with the appropriate responses, it wouldn’t bother me if I received nothing at all. Birthdays are basically a non-event in my life and I could count on one hand the number of birthday cakes I’ve had. In fact, while we are at it I may as well reveal I’ve never had a birthday party and that is out of choice.

When my 21st was looming, I was asked by my parents if I wanted a party and I declined, opting instead for a quiet family tea at my grandparents with other close relatives. I was at Uni at the time and had a whole load of exams on my plate which were far more important to me than a fake social event. Ask yourself this? How many birthday cards and gifts do you buy because you feel obligated and how many do you buy because you genuinely care for that person? I have a cousin turning 21 in February who no one in the family particularly likes but we’ll still be expected to produce a suitable gift. Thankfully, that’s my mum’s department and he’ll be getting nothing from me since his parents ignore the existence of my brother’s kids. That’s fine. When their offspring start breeding, they will be dutifully ignored in return.

Getting back to the point, I refuse to let other people dictate how I do or do not feel about my age. The fact is, if I posted a picture and told you I was turning an age ten years younger, you would believe it. I don’t look my age and in fact, I still get asked for ID. LOL! People are genuinely shocked when I tell them how old I am and I have one cousin in particular who takes great delight in telling everyone within earshot. It upsets me because I’m a pretty private person and I really don’t like being in the spotlight. People start looking at me in disbelief and by the end of the day, I start to feel like I’ve done something wrong.

She has basically made my life miserable this week and I don’t know how to tell her to mind her own business without causing some major family drama. It always backfires on her anyway because some people think she’s older than me and she doesn’t like that. She thinks she’s being cute when she does this and she has gotten away with this kind of thing all her life but there are times when I think she is being downright bitchy.

So, am I supposed to just sit back and take it or should I tell her to shut up? No wonder my anxiety levels are off the scale this week. It’s not my birthday that is depressing me – it’s the attitude of others.

I can’t remember the exact time I fell in love with ballet but I’m sure the movie The Red Shoes must have had a lot to do with it. I used to watch a lot of old movies in the days before cable/satellite arrived and spent many a Saturday afternoon watching them with my mum. The Red Shoes was one of my all time favourites and I remember being spellbound by it, even if I did think the love part was boring, to my young eyes. Dump those men, Vicky, and keep on dancing!

I’ve waited a long time for the film to come out on DVD and just had to buy it as soon as I read it had been restored. What can I say? I’m used to seeing the old TV broadcasts which were very faded but seeing the movie in all its technicolor glory is just amazing. Not only is the picture clear but the colours are so vivid, particularly Moira Shearer’s beautiful red hair. She was a Scot, don’cha know?

The film has lost none of its magic and when I was a little girl, I lusted after a pair of red ballet shoes. Guess what? I’m still lusting after them. There is just something about ballet shoes that make me fall in love with them.

One thing I noticed, the ballerinas in the film, including Shearer, weren’t exactly stick thin and would’ve probably been classed as fat in this day and age but they were most certainly not. They were healthy and had flesh on their bones. I have a copy of a Russian ballet company doing The Sleeping Beauty and the ballerina playing Aurora is just nothing but skin and bone. You can see the bones of her ribcage sticking out and it is very unattractive. A sad reflection on today’s standards.

The Red Shoes is considered one of the best movies ever made and is held in high regard by the likes of Martin Scorsese who had a hand in the restoration. Apparently, this restoration is just one of many planned to preserve British classics and if this movie is anything to go by, the project is phenomenally important.

I survived the root canal treatment despite my brain’s best efforts to induce an anxiety attack. It’s the longest I’ve ever been in the dentist and after about half way through, I started to get really bored. It took about an hour and didn’t hurt one bit despite all the horror stories I’ve been reading. It was a little bit tender after the numbness wore off but nothing you could even label pain so I just avoided eating on that side for a couple of days to give it a chance to heal. I’m not saying I would want to go through this again any time soon but now that I’ve been through it, I won’t be scared of it so much if I need to get it done again.

Finally made the effort to start the Christmas shopping this morning and of course it was pouring with rain! I had reserved a few items at Argos so I had to go pick them up or they would be sold to someone else. Usually I’m quite good a picking gifts for my nephews and niece but this year I just had no clue. They are getting older now so the usual standbys don’t work anymore. I called my SIL for ideas and chose items from the list so I think I’m done. I’ve had to order some stuff from Amazon since the items were out of stock at Argos and there’s nowhere else to get them. I so miss Woolworths!

Still haven’t got the decorations up yet, might not bother this year. I really have no Christmas spirit whatsoever.

I feel like the end of the year is speeding towards me like a freight train and I’m nowhere near organised for Christmas. I can’t even say I’m in the mood for it this year, everything seems like such a big hassle. I’m taking a week off in December and I’m just going to get all my shopping done at once. I bought cards yesterday since I have to post some foreign ones off soon before they get caught in the postal rush.

Work is absolutely terrible and our whole dept seems to be so stressed out. I never realised just how clueless managers are about the day to day stuff. We have no idea what’s going on with S and it’s now 3 months since she was last there. Good news we have a casual with us who actually has a brain so the pressure is easing slightly.

On the home front, bedroom decorating is all finished and I now have 3 bookcases (only one has books the rest have DVDs) and that means so much more room for more boxsets. I’m going to be saving up in the New Year to move because I really need my own space now but renting is so expensive. I actually saw a flat I liked and while I could cope with the first month’s rent up front – the deposit would’ve wiped me out. I’m not looking to get into debt so am going to save a bit more and hope something just as nice appears on the market later. I’m still with my parents just now, mainly because I’ve never had a decent paying job to support living on my own and plus they are hardly home anyway for half the year.

The tooth problems are hopefully going to be fixed on Monday when I head for my root canal appointment. I’m not looking forward to it but I really want to get this tooth sorted out since it is starting to annoy me. There is no pain since it is dead but there was infection there. The dentist cleared away the old filling last visit and filled it with medicated stuff which tastes awful. It’s also starting to crumble a bit but I’m been doing my absolute best not to chew on that side even though that seems to be my dominant side. Isn’t it weird how you don’t even realise you have a dominant chewing side until you can’t use it?

I was a bit freaked out about the root canal but I’ve done a lot of research (even the horror stories) and a work colleagues promises me I will be fine apart from a sore jaw. I trust my dentist and he hasn’t lied to me yet. I even had a wisdom tooth removed with zero pain afterwards. It’s definitely going to hurt my bank account though, so it is a good job we get paid on Monday which is also a bank holiday. My appointment is in the morning so I can feel sorry for myself the rest of the day. I was going to do Christmas shopping but I think I’m going to leave it for the following week when I have more time.

Hope you are all well.